Living with Depression

Feeling sad for a short time is a normal feeling. Constantly feeling low for long stretches of time is something else.

Feeling tired can also be a normal feeling. Being too fatigued to leave your bed or living space for weeks at a time is a sign of something else.

Difficulty focusing, sleeping, or eating can come from a variety of reasons. Changes in appetite, mood, or energy levels can be a sign of Depression.

What Is Depression?

Depression is more than just feeling sad or having a bad day. It’s a complex mental health condition that can affect every aspect of life. Your moods, your energy levels, your relationships, your sense of purpose, your well-being can all be altered by depression. And, despite its prevalence, depression is often misunderstood or dismissed, leaving many to suffer in silence.

Depression, according to the World Health Organization, is a common mental health disorder that involves a low mood or loss of pleasure or interest in activities for long periods of time. Depression is “different from regular mood changes and feelings about everyday life. It can affect all aspects of life, including relationships with family, friends and community. It can result from or lead to problems at school and at work.”

Depression is not a sign of weakness or something you can simply “snap out of.” It’s a real and treatable mental condition that affects millions worldwide. That includes those who have experienced abuse, serious loss, or other stressful events. In addition, women are more likely than women to experience depressive episodes than men.

Symptoms of Depression

Depression looks different for everyone, but there are some common traits. According to the Mayo Clinic, depression can look like this:

• Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness

• Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters

• Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports

• Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much

• Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort

• Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain

• Anxiety, agitation or restlessness

• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements

• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame

• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things

• Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide

• Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, seek help immediately by contacting a trusted friend, family member, or a crisis hotline such as the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (U.S.).

Causes of Depression

According to Psychiatry.org, depression can affect anyone and is often the result of many factors. These include:

• Biological: Genetics and brain chemistry.

• Psychological: Past trauma, low self-esteem, or chronic stress.

• Environmental: Life events such as loss, financial struggles, or relationship problems.

How to Cope with Depression

Depression can feel isolating, but you must remember you are not alone. I am here to help you and together we can work on your diagnosis. In the meantime, here are some steps to dealing with your depression:

1. Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals. Eat as little sugar as possible, filling up instead on whole foods. 

2. Get a healthy amount of sleep. Most health professionals recommend 7-9 hours each night.

3. Get outside. Get some sun. 

4. Move your body. Go for a walk, even a short one may help to clear your head even a little bit. Don’t overdo it and don’t beat yourself up about not doing enough. 

5. Avoid drugs and alcohol. They often make your mood or situation worse.

6. Practice self-care. Whatever that means for you, do things you enjoy. Take the time to appreciate that you are doing something you enjoy.

7. Set doable, realistic goals for yourself considering the depression. This isn’t the time to take on more tasks at work or in your personal life. 

8. Break large tasks into small ones. Set priorities. Schedule what you can. 

9. Listen to your body: Do you need to be alone or with people? Do you need to talk to a friend or journal?

10. Be patient with yourself. This may take time. Focus on anything positive that happened to you.

When It’s Time to Contact a Health Professional

If you have experienced any of these symptoms for more than two weeks, it’s time to contact me. I am trained in ways to help you manage your depressive symptoms. I can help you.

• Lasting sad, anxious, or “empty” mood

• Loss of interest in almost all activities

• Appetite and weight changes

• Changes in sleep patterns, such as inability to sleep or sleeping too much

• Slowing of physical activity, speech, and thinking OR agitation, increased restlessness, and irritability

• Decreased energy, feeling tired or "sluggish" almost every day

• Ongoing feelings of worthlessness or feelings of undue guilt

• Trouble concentrating or making decisions

• Not eating or overeating

• Repeating thoughts of death or suicide, wishing to die, or attempting suicide are very serious symptoms and need to be dealt with immediately and requires emergency treatment.

Supporting Someone with Depression

If someone you care about is struggling with depression, your support can make a difference. Here are some ways to help:

• Listen without judgment and offer empathy.

• Encourage them to seek professional help.

• Be patient; healing is not a linear process.

Remember to care for yourself, too. Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally taxing, and it’s important to maintain your own well-being.

It’s OK to Have Hope

Depression can feel like an insurmountable obstacle. But recovery is possible. By seeking support, practicing self-care, and accessing my professional help, you are taking steps to a brighter future. 

If you are struggling, know that you are not alone. Contact me today and begin feeling better soon.

Dealing with Anxiety

John* cannot sleep. Between his stressful job and failing marriage, it feels as if his life is falling apart.

Madison cannot focus in class. Her thoughts spiral when she begins to think about her upcoming exams.

Henry is in the middle of a panic attack while driving on the highway through Minneapolis. He has to pull over and call a friend who can calm him down.

Renee consistently fights the urge to run away whenever she’s in a crowded room. From a gym to her daughter’s brownie troop meetings, she often has to make herself stay in the room.

They all suffer from anxiety, your body’s natural response to stress. Anxiety feels different for everyone, but there are a few common reactions.

What Is Anxiety?

According to the American Psychological Society, anxiety is “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure. It is a future-oriented, long-acting response broadly focused on a diffuse threat, whereas fear is an appropriate, present-oriented, and short-lived response to a clearly identifiable and specific threat.”

The APA defines it as different from fear, though they are often used in similar ways. Anxiety is usually a fear or worry about what might happen in the future. While everyone experiences anxiety at some point, it becomes a concern when it’s persistent, intense, and keeps you from living your life.

Common types of anxiety disorders include:

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD): Excessive worry about various aspects of life

• Panic Disorder: Sudden episodes of intense fear or panic

• Social Anxiety Disorder: Fear of social situations or being judged

• Phobias: Intense fear of specific objects, activities, or situations

Signs and Symptoms of Anxiety

According to the Mayo Clinic, there are many common symptoms of anxiety. They include:

• Feeling nervous, restless or tense

• Having a sense of impending danger, panic or doom

• Having an increased heart rate

• Breathing rapidly (hyperventilation)

• Sweating

• Trembling

• Feeling weak or tired

• Trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the present worry

• Having trouble sleeping

• Experiencing gastrointestinal (GI) problems

• Having difficulty controlling worry

• Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety

The Science Behind Anxiety

Anxiety stems from the brain’s fight-or-flight response, which is designed to protect us from danger. In people with anxiety, this response may activate even when there’s no real threat, leading to heightened alertness and fear. Factors like genetics, past experiences, and environmental stressors can all contribute to anxiety.

Tips for Managing Anxiety

If anxiety is a part of your life, there are ways to regain control. According to the Anxiety & Depression Society of America, here are some strategies for managing your symptoms.

1. Take a time-out. Practice yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage, or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem helps clear your head.

2. Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Do keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand.

3. Limit alcohol and caffeine, which can aggravate anxiety and trigger panic attacks.

4. Get enough sleep. When stressed, your body needs additional sleep and rest.

5. Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. Check out the ADAA’s fitness tips.

6. Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly.

7. Count to 10 slowly. Repeat, and count to 20 if necessary.

8. Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn't possible, be proud of however close you get.

9. Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?

10. Welcome humor. A good laugh goes a long way.

11. Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

12. Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.

13. Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school, or something else you can identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed or anxious, and look for a pattern.

14. Talk to someone. Tell friends and family you’re feeling overwhelmed, and let them know how they can help you. Talk to a physician or therapist for professional help.

15. Contact Me: I am a trained therapist who can help you through this. We’ll work together to find a plan that works for you.

Self-Compassion Is Key

It’s easy to be hard on yourself when anxiety takes hold. Remember, it’s not your fault. You’re not “failing” when those signs of anxiety creep up. You’re simply navigating something many people experience. Celebrate small victories, like taking a step toward seeking help or trying a new coping technique.

When to Reach Out for Help

If anxiety is interfering with your ability to enjoy life, it’s time to reach out. I will work with you to identify your particular triggers, develop coping mechanisms, and build up your resilience. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. 

Anxiety is a challenge, but it doesn’t have to define your life. By understanding it and taking proactive steps, you can create a path toward peace. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, there is help available. You do not have to deal with this alone. If you’d like support managing anxiety, please contact me. My practice specializes in helping people learn to deal with their anxiety and build a fulfilling life. You are not alone. We can do this together.

*All names have been changed.

Strengthening Relationships Through Counseling

Being in a long-term relationship is one of the most meaningful and rewarding commitments we can make, but it’s no secret that it comes with its challenges. Whether it’s communication issues, unresolved conflicts, or navigating life’s stressors together, every couple faces obstacles. That’s where marriage counseling can make a difference.

Marriage counseling, also known as couples therapy, isn’t just for relationships on the brink of collapse. It’s a proactive way to build stronger connections, improve communication, and foster mutual understanding. Let’s explore what marriage counseling is, when it might be helpful, and how it can benefit your relationship.

What Is Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling is a form of therapy designed to help couples address and resolve issues in their relationship. Guided by a trained therapist, couples learn strategies to improve communication, manage conflict, and build a healthier, more satisfying partnership.

Sessions typically focus on:

• Identifying and addressing patterns of behavior.

• Enhancing communication skills.

• Exploring unresolved conflicts or resentments.

• Strengthening emotional intimacy and trust.

Marriage counseling creates a safe, neutral space where both partners can express their feelings and work together to find solutions.

When to Consider Marriage Counseling

Couples often seek counseling when they encounter specific issues, but you don’t need to wait for a crisis to get help. Some common reasons for seeking marriage counseling include:

• Communication Breakdown: Difficulty expressing feelings or feeling misunderstood.

• Recurring Conflicts: Arguments that don’t lead to resolution.

• Loss of Intimacy: Feeling emotionally or physically disconnected.

• Trust Issues: Infidelity or other breaches of trust.

• Life Transitions: Navigating major changes, like starting a family, moving, or career shifts.

• Financial Stress: Disagreements about money management.

• Parenting Challenges: Conflicts over parenting styles or responsibilities.

Even if things feel “okay,” marriage counseling can help strengthen your relationship and prevent future problems.

What to Expect in Marriage Counseling

The idea of sharing personal details with a therapist might feel intimidating at first, but most couples find that counseling becomes a rewarding and transformative experience. Here’s what you can expect:

1. Initial Sessions: I will get to know you both, explore the challenges you’re facing, and help you set goals for therapy.

2. Exploring Patterns: Together, we’ll identify recurring patterns of behavior or communication that may be causing strain.

3. Skill-Building: I’ll teach you better communication tools and ways to manage your conflict.

4. Safe Space for Dialogue: I will create a safe space for you to be open and vulnerable, helping you navigate difficult conversations in a constructive way.

Marriage counseling isn’t about taking sides—it’s about helping both partners feel heard, understood, and supported.

The Benefits of Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling offers a wide range of benefits for couples, including:

• Improved Communication: Learn how to express your needs and listen to your partner effectively.

• Conflict Resolution: Develop healthy strategies for addressing disagreements.

• Deeper Connection: Reignite emotional and physical intimacy.

• Mutual Understanding: Gain insight into your partner’s perspective and feelings.

• Stronger Partnership: Build a relationship based on trust, respect, and teamwork.

Even if your relationship feels strained, counseling can provide a pathway to healing and growth.

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Research shows that many couples experience significant improvements in their relationships through counseling. However, your success often depends on the willingness of both partners to engage in the process and apply what I’ve taught you.

It’s important to remember that change takes time and effort. While marriage counseling provides the tools and guidance, lasting growth comes from the work you and your partner are willing to put into the relationship.

Taking the First Step

Deciding to begin marriage counseling may feel like a big step, but it’s a courageous one. Whether you’re facing serious challenges or simply want to strengthen your bond, counseling can help you create the relationship you both desire.

At Authentic Self Mental Health, I offer compassionate, evidence-based marriage counseling tailored to your unique needs. Together, we’ll work to identify areas of growth, build effective communication skills, and deepen your connection as a couple.

Your relationship matters. Let’s make it stronger—together.

If you’re ready to take the first step toward a healthier, happier marriage, contact us today to schedule a consultation. We’re here to support you on your journey.